i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I enjoy the company of your penis
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
