I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize