he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
