She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize