I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
