I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
