Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
