Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
