Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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