i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
