so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
