ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
