a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
