My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I understand Curling. That high.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
