K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
