a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
birth control should be required to get into college
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
