He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
