i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize