its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
