We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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