Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize