Small penises have feelings too.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
