I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
