did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
