is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
