Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
