You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
