OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
