He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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