i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
