but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
