I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
