every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
