I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
