everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
