I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
