Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
