Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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