oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
