ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
