So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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