We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm both gender and math confused
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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