is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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