just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
