we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
