Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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