Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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