how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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