Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My life is pants optional.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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