Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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