Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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