okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
