so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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