Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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