She's JV to your varsity
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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