he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
false alarm. still invincible.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
