Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
