Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
